Presenting: The Most Hilarious Ways To Insult Someone

At school, college and at work, there exists a ‘breed’ of annoying people and then, there are some who deserve a Hi5 in the face, with a pan. While most of the times, you can abide by Gandhian principle of “Bura na bolo” and manage with your middle finger; sometimes, it becomes imperative to jump in the war of words. Clever as you must be and still bearing respect for the aforementioned Gandhian principle, we bring to you some hilarious lines you can use to insult someone without using the cuss words. Wit is all it takes!

And there’s not better person to use your wits at, then your very best friend. Admit it or not, they may be your life but they are the ones who annoy you the most. Hence,

For Friends:

  • When he/she does “stuff” in public and embarrasses you:

evolution in reverse

Yes, you are! *Monkey Smirk?*

  • And when he tries to hit back at for that:


That’d save me a lot of time banging my head against the empty container of yours. :p :p

  • When he would go on harping on the same string and making no sense:

Oooooh! I sense flames down there. >_<

  • And, when you’ll HAVE to try to make it upto him and he won’t budge:


Here, I taught you one more thing. Ahh, Anyways, you’ll forget it as well.

For Your Sibling:

The most annoying creatures on the planet. Here’s to them:

  • When you are tired of fighting and wanna end the fight, but hey, you can’t yield!

Hehe. The fight would intensify, I guess. And I bet this is what you wanted. :p

  • On family vacation to a serene place, who doesn’t wanna add some pepper to the food?

Tell me, do you?

  • No matter they reply or not, commenting on them is your birth right:

ON WEIGHT: You’re like the universe, constantly expanding.

ON HAIR: I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?


WITH LOVE, <3 <3 :*

  • Every time she asks how she looks:

Precaution: Frequency levels should not exceed 20 Hz.

  • Unless you wanna break-up. In that case, here’s another one:

Truth be told. *Harsh Times*

  • And then arguments start. And you wouldn’t wanna lose this one, would you?

If I had a penny for every brain cell you had, I would have nothing. Absolutely nothing.

  • And if you really, really hate her. A parting gift is in order. An advice perhaps!

Or don’t say it, if you think that won’t be of use either. People have limitations, you know.

And finally if anyone says you’re insulting them. TELL. THEM. THE. TRUTH.

Take a look in the mirror but be careful, the glass is expensive. :p

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